{"id":301,"date":"2013-10-09T20:23:38","date_gmt":"2013-10-09T20:23:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fuzzybug.net\/?p=301"},"modified":"2013-10-09T20:45:32","modified_gmt":"2013-10-09T20:45:32","slug":"review-the-colony","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fuzzybug.net\/?p=301","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: ‘The Colony’, SKIP IT!!!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"The-Colony\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I gotta say, I was hopeful for this movie. I mean, I’ve been needing me some solid sci-fi\/horror for a LONG TIME. I think the last sci-fi\/horror film that scared the crap out of me was Event Horizon, <\/em>funnilly enough, also starring Laurence Fishburne, who stars here as well. So when I started seeing spots for this movie, I was getting more and more excited. Post-apocalyptic horror goodness. All starring my man Fishburne…<\/p>\n

…sad to say, this movie was shit.<\/p>\n

Okay, if you haven’t already seen this movie, the setup being, Earth froze over. Huge weather towers failed, and people were dying left and right. The people who survived, banded together and formed “colonies”. Which they support, barter, all that stuff you do to survive a post-apocalyptic future. But one colony sent out a distress call, and Laurence Fishburne’s colony couldn’t raise them on the radio to see what was going on.<\/p>\n

So he and his merry band of heroes goes to the distressed colony to see what’s up. And that’s where shit hits the fan.<\/p>\n

This shit in this case? …wait, before I go on? *ahem, SPOILERS!!!<\/p>\n

Cannibals. Yes. The horror you see in the trailers is basically cannibals. And they ate the distressed colony. After our protagonists escape? Of course the flesh eaters follow… but keep in mind this is after dynamite was used to blow up the exit from the distressed colony, AND blowing up a bridge. Somehow in the frozen tundra that is this world, the cannibals make their way to our heroes’ camp…<\/p>\n

…I don’t know what to tell you, despite some of my favorite actors being part of this cast? This movie is filled with almost every improbable sci-fi cliche you can think of. Which I wouldn’t of minded if the movie itself didn’t look like crap.<\/p>\n

Supposedly this movie was made by a Canadian production company. And they posited that they can make a movie look like a big-budget\/tentpole\/event picture at a fraction of the cost. And they failed miserably in that regard.<\/p>\n